Rumors & News from the Wrestling Mole

What a crazy weekend capped off with this year's edition of WWE's SummerSlam (or Summer SCAM?). Let's first mention the obvious the obvious: though it left him needing stitches afterwards, CM Punk beat JBL, Triple H topped the Great Khali (Great Whoopi is more like it), Batista stopped John Cena and the Undertaker returned to kick Edges ass. Hmmm...if there is anyone out there who couldn't have predicted these outcomes...please send em my way I got a little wager on the next TNA event. Now on to the rumblings making their way through the wrestling world.


In the "Tassels vs. Tatas" Department.

The Ultimate Warriors ex-wife, Shari Tyree, has been dropping hints that she will soon be interviewed for the first time about her life with the former WWF Inter-Continental and World Champion. So soon it has been claimed that it will happen THIS week! No offense Shari, but if I wanna hear some chick with a name that sounds like a brain-dead stipper talk about a musclehead ex with serious psycological issues I'll just wait for the next tidbit on the "Luscious" Linda Hogan saga to pop up.


In the "Feather Boas vs. Black Robes" Department.

So now that Jesse Ventura can no longer rule over wrestling, or the state of Minnesota for that matter, it is rumored that the former WWF Superstar is negotiating to host a judge talk show set to premiere in 2009. Now Judge Judy scares me, Judge Ventura only gives me bad gas. Wonder how many one-liners ol' Jesse's dug up from his wrestling days to foist upon unsuspecting trial attendees?



The "Should We Really Care" Department.

So this upcoming Monday, August 25th, WWE Raw will air on Sci-Fi instead of the regular USA Network slot due to the US Open Tennis Tournament. Maybe ol' Vince really is hurt...he gotta be to just step aside...FOR TENNIS?!?!?! Guess 25 plus years of propping up the USA Network means very little these days. Why not just skip Raw this week? That way the 4 or 5 Superstars left can take the night off.



The "We REALLY Shouldn't Care" Department.

So after last night's "not really a match after all" match, Mark Henry will take on Matt Hardy on ECW this Tuesday on SCI-Fi. I should feel bad for all the "Matt-Heads" who actually paid to see last nights "not-match" when they could have just watched for free on Tuesday but like they say "a fool and his money...". But then again...it's not like this is REAL ECW, right? If this is news to you...I got a wager on a Magnificent Moolah match I'd like to discuss with you as well.



The "Finally Some News That Makes Me Smile" Department.

So WWE's Umaga will be out of action for a couple of months to undergo rehab on a "funny" knee injury hee suffered at Tuesday's WWE Smackdown taping. They say it's a torn posterior cruciate ligament. I say it's a friggin' breath of fresh air!


Yeah there's more crap to discuss...like Santino Marella becoming Inter-Continental Champion again (The Honky Tonk Man would be rolling over in his grave...if'n he was dead ya'll!), or the return of Tony Atlas?

Come to think about it...there really isn't anything left to discuss.

Til Next Time...WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE BIGGEST OPINION IN THE WORLD RUNS WILD ON YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Barry Molea, The Wrestling Mole

Results: WWE Smackdown/ECW

WWE
Smackdown/ECW House Show
July 13, 2008
James Brown Arena
Augusta, GA



Teddy Long comes out to run down the card and announce that for main event the audience could text in their choice of either No DQ match, a two out of three falls match or a falls count anywhere match. Afterwards Eve gave away 4 front row seats.

Finlay w/ Hornswoggle defeated Carlito by pinfall

Mr. Kennedy defeated Mike Knox by pinfall

Great Khali defeated Evan Bourne by pinfall

(WWE Tag Team Championship)
The Miz and John Morrison defeat
Jesse and Fetus by pinfall

(ECW U.S. Title Championship)
Matt Hardy defeated MVP and Shelton Benjamin by pinfall

--Intermission--

Michelle McCool and Cherry defeat
Victoria and Maryse by Submission

(ECW Championship)
Mark Henry w/ Tony Atlas defeated Tommy Dreamer by pinfall


(Fans Choice - No DQ)
Jeff Hardy defeated Edge by pinfall

Augusta Under In-House Arrest?

by Jonny Rokket

So the WWE is bringing yet another house show to the area this Sunday, July 13th via WWE presents the Smackdown/ECW Summerslam Tour.

Well whoopty friggin' damn doo.

Promo materials have mentioned matches and appearances by such wrestlers as Jeff Hardy, Edge, Tommy Dreamer,. ECW Champion Mark Henry, United States Champion Matt Hardy, MVP, Shelton Benjamin, Kennedy, The Great Khali, WWE Tag Team Champions The Miz & John Morrison, Finlay, Hornswoggle, Michelle McCool, Jesse & Festus, and Victoria. Aside from possibly Jeff Hardy, Edge, and Kennedy, the rest of these "names" could make up a barely good list for a wrestler rummage sale. That's only due to Dreamer's ability to still hold a bamboo bat.

If it wasn't for the Jeff Hardy/Edge Challenge match, this event would have all the lustre of midget pony racing. (not that there's anything wrong with that!) After all, watching the advertised Matt Hardy/Mark Henry ECW Title match would be the equivalent of sitting through a farting contest between FCW's John Malus and The Common Man. Not a pretty sight at all.

Someone told me earlier today, "Mad props to the Augusta Chronicle for putting wrestling on the cover of today's Applause section." Yeah I guess if you wanna give out mad props for an article about a guy once suspended for violating the WWE's illegal substance policy titled "ECW's John Morrison: A brainy brawler." In this article Morrison is quoted as saying "My thinking has evolved." It's a no-brainer that suspension would get a guy at least wondering.

So the Chronicle put wrestling on the cover of The Applause. There's pretty decent, not to mention much cheaper, family wrestling going on the night before at Patriots Park. So why wasn't the Common Man put on the cover? Right! I forgot...the whole farting thing.

Let Jonny Rokket do the math for you.

Tickets for Sundays event are $21-$51. Throw in another $10 plus for snacks and a drink and you can forget having lunch money the next day if you even feel like eating while at work after hanging out until 10PM or later the night before.

Saturday night you can take the family to Patriots Park and the most you'll pay per person is $7 plus the little monsters under 5 get in free. For under $3 you can get a hotdog, drink and even some candy. Top price per person? $10.

Even the merch is cheaper and you have Sunday to recover.

Do the math.

It Ain't Rokket Science Folks.

If you just have to, you can check out the Applause article at:
http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/071008/ent_465099.shtml