Two Minutes at the Hilton or Piper at the Gates of Rome - You Decide

by Jonny Rokket

Now I'll be the first to admit that wrestling today pretty much makes me wanna puke. Well at least the majors. It has become more exciting lately to follow the firings, defections and injury reports of the WWE than any of the storylines and TNA? Well their X-Division is starting to remind of the "mini-duplicate" midget wrestlers from back in the day. I'm expecting any day now for Consequences Creed (who already is some sort of portrayal of Rocky Balboa's nemesis turned ally Apollo Creed) to come out sporting a Coco B. Ware outfit carrying a parakeet. All we'd need then is for Curry Man (yep..."Curry Man") to come out sporting a Doink the Clown gimmick and the X-Division transformation will be nearly complete. I'd like to throw in a plug for Abdul Bashir to change his name yet again. This time to The Iron BaShiek and while we're at it...how about we get Alex Shelley to don a wig and come out as the Ultimate Wannabe.

Can I get paid now for my marketing genius? (hint of sarcasm included)

Back over in WWE land ol' Vince is pushing Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels and a trio of "scramble" championship matches at this Sundays Unforgiven pay-per-view plus they have a "Divas" championship match. Now I gotta ask? Is this wrestling or a hint to eat a hearty breakfast, listen to some Whitney Houston and then take a nap?

After grimmacing through RAW this past Monday I came to the conclusion that the major leagues of professional wrestling has zip entertainment value.

Until today.

While rummaging through the news at wrestleview.com I came across this news bit entitled "Santino Marella vs. Perez Hilton" and I thought to myself, "I dig faux Italian wrestlers just as much as the next guy." (HEY! Salvator Bellomo was a heck of an Italian juggernaut!) Within I descovered that apparently Santino Marella, a Canadian wrestler of "Italian descent", hosts his own video show on wwe.com entitled "Santino's Casa" or "Santino's House" for you non-worldly types out there. In the meager span of two minutes and a handful of seconds Santino disses gossip king, um queen, um whatever, Perez Hilton and then rakes Roddy Piper over the coals. While I expected the worst, I absolutely laughed my ass off which is good because Santino's wrestling makes me cry and not in a "moved to tears" kinda way.

In a cookie-cutter wrestling world where everyone wishes they were Jeff Hardy or Triple H, the video actually was a breath of fresh air in an otherwise stale cloud that is the typical wrestling personality of today.

Don't believe me, watch the clip below...when you're done laughing you can go back to watching your Hardy Boys DVD.

Rokket Out